Okay so like one time Ronald McDonald was working at a Taco Bell because where else would he be working and Name the Snail was visiting because he was the health inspector, Name told Ronald that this Taco Bell was not up to health code standards as crystal meth was found in the Baja blast pie. Ronald responded with "uh nuh uh" as he was trying to cover up the totally legal stuff he was doing
Name replied, “Fym “nuh uh!?” I’m the gregdamn health inspector!” Ronald wasn’t having it, so he hit Name with the Minos Prime JUDGEMENT, sending him flying into the Patty Vault. “These sandwiches…” Name said before taking a bite of one of the Krabby Patties, “are Delicious!” The Krabby Patties gave Name enough strength to fly back to McDonald’s, and confront Ronald! “It is foolish to come against me, Name,” said Ronald with a threatening sneer, “you know that I control the food industry!” Name replied, “I stand for the people. I will not allow them to eat this disgusting junk you dare call food!” Name flied at Ronald, katana drawn, to cut him down, but Ronald simply sidestepped the attack, and launched two Big Macs at Name! Name tucked into his shell to block the Big Macs,
Ronald's coworker Tom Taco Bell tried to interject saying "uh sir why do you have Big Macs? this is a Taco Bell" but no one gave a s*** and instead they kept fighting! Ronald soon gained the upper hand as he had obtained the seven chaos burgers (which were all glowing due to nuclear radiation) leaving Name powerless to fight him! "You cant defeat me!" yelled Ronald however Name simply responded with "I know but he can..." SUDDENLY THE BURGER KING BUSTED IN having heard the pleas of the people around the world who wanted to eat half decent food the Burger King uses his powers of burger plot convince to allow Name to deliver the final blow on Ronald and ultimately shut down all the nearby Mc Donald's and Taco Bells. 5 years later it was discovered Ronald was (I was gonna say "involved with the drug trade, the end :)" but I ran out of time :( )
Okay so listen Bob the Communist Minion decided to go back in time and save the Titanic, why? I have no freaking clue, I guess he thought it’d be cool, but anyway he made them turn the ship around and actually saved the Titanic, BUT THEN! He decided to spread his Communist regime (stinky) to the people of the Titanic! However… one brave dog stood against him… THE RAPPING DOG! “Hey yo, Communism ain’t cool, dawg!” The Rapping Dog said to Bob, confronting him on the bridge. It was a stormy night in the Atlantic Ocean. Rain poured on the two. Bob replied, “It is the only way for true freedom!” “You’ve used your power to take away the freedoms of the people, dawg!” Rapping Dog replied. And so… they fought.
Bob shoots Rapping Dog with the freeze ray he claimed from Gru through cominionism however Rapping Dog was able to dodge it and chucked a conveniently place live chicken from the Chicken Wiki at Bob! this made Bob upset so he tried to call in the other minions however they were all on strike (and also not at the time of the Titanic) so that didn't do crap, Rapping Dog tried to convince Bob to stop by explaining that
Communism freaking sucks, but Bob wasn’t listening, so Rapping Dog explained it in the best way he knew how… song! “Hey, yo Communism ain’t cool, can’t ya hear what I’m saying? It can exploit the workers, it can leave em with nothin! If ya like it so much, why don’t you look at the Soviets? Oh right, they all starved and crumbled to nothin! Take a look throughout, all of history Communism just ain’t working, and it never will! So give up, you yellow pill-looking weirdo! And let the Titanic sink it’s a canon event!” In the end, Bob was so moved by Rapping Dog’s singing, he denounced Communism, and let the Titanic sink, killing them both. THE END.